Broken and Fixed

To start off,

   I apologize (yet again) for my up and down type posts, one day you'll smile because i'll say something witty (its bound to happen sometime) and other times I say things that make people sad or depressed.

Thats life for me, this roller coaster of not knowing what's coming next, To be honest it can be exhausting at times, and my patience does wear thin from time to time.

Life is a Ride. Enjoy It.

Some days it can fly by faster then you want it to,

other times its long, harsh and cruel, but its how you take it at the end of the day that matters.


I came home from work in a wonderful mood, despite things going on at work that I can't really explain on here..Work frustrates me to be honest, and I will hold off on my comments knowing one of my readers :) I usually don't have a filter on here but I think I need to for this subject. ****************CLASSIFIED INFORMATION*********** Special Permission Required :

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ANYWAY. Work was okay, I get home and my roomie tells me to go look up CraigsList.

I go and pull up one of the postings for the day, and I see My J.P. all lovely and wonderful posting for a hookup.. and ... it killed me..

I guess I didn't realize how fragile I can be, in this case I shattered. I went to my room.. and just collapsed.. knowing that he said he loved me, but he was posting for someone else, someone better, someone not me.

    We have had the talk a few times now and he is still the same answer, that a relationship puts too many behavior disadvantages, and I get it.  We can technically date who we want when we want.

I won't lie, i've had my mistakes at parties kissing a guy, but i've realized that I don't want something cheap, someone that will only last a second.. I want lasting, wonderful, I want J.P. No matter if he feels as strongly or not.

So I was heartbroken, confused, hurt.

I called and left him a message , that when it when to voicemail that set me off even more, thinking that someone had replied to his post,

What can I say, I get jealous. But if you saw J.P. like I do, you'd get it..

So I left the apartment after a spur of the moment feng shui of my room,
I needed to go anywhere, be anywhere , just cease to be all at once. I ended up at the closing game of the Rebels football team where my cousins were, they pulled me aside and I told them I needed to leave, that I was suddenly swallowed up by so many things going through my head..

I ended up going to my neighbors down the street and watched SUCKERPUNCH, And loved the True Escape idea of the film.

J.P. called and texted that we needed to talk and when we did....I was so relieved.. and a bit angry.

Apparently an Ex of J.P. posted the post on Craigslist, that he wanted me, just me. He apologized for the mis understaning, and only for a moment did I wonder if he was just trying to back step out of something he was caught int. But I realized that J.P. Is wonderful, amazing and I am in Love with him, so We talked it through and we are okay.. Though he didn't tell me which Ex it was, only giving me the three words that will rot in my mind for who knows how long.. "You. Know. Him"

I hope it works out that whoever it was gets in trouble for posting a post under someone elses name and picture..

I now know that J.P. wouldn't do that.

He is sensational, though he often doubts it. He really is a catch,

Whether I get him for days, months or even years.. The most important thing is, I Get Him. I got to know someone who restored my faith in the world of Love. Its out there, in unexpecting and breath taking, and should be cherished every second we have it, no matter what the time limit.

So cherish all the little moments and don't hate them when they are gone, be greatful you were there to live them.

Think I spit out enough quotes?

:)  Nicholas Michael Irwin Goodman