The Escape

Hello,


This is a topic that i've wanted to talk about for a while.

It may sound a bit silly but I really want to convey what I'm feeling about this certain subject.

Escape.

A technique that is used in SuckerPunch,
I've just realized that I haven't blogged about that movie.. Which is a shame because it IS BEAUTIFUL!

I want to talk about it but I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it.. Ha! Who am I kidding, the people who read my blog.. The whole 4 have probably already seen it.. ah well..

I just loved it because it basically tells you, If you dont like the situation that your in, or you just need to get away from the pain, sorrow or boredom...Simply escape through your mind

Gather your courage, your will , the drive to get someone you want all these things are stronger then a sword or a gun. Courage lasts, it courses through you, it can become you until all that's left is a strong-willed unstoppable person.

   Though its just a movie I use the Escape technique often, and to my surprise it works.

I've always had an overactive imagination, I day-dreamed all day in school, and in church when I was little. When I didn't like what was going on, I could fill the world I was seeing with scenarios,

The floor could open up and led to strange places, or the chalk board would slide down and I'd climb through to a place far away from where I started.

Growing up, going through high school, it stuck with me... but not so childish.. I don't want you to think of me as some spacey guy, some weirdo always staring at the ceiling and looking lost..

I have found I can leave whenever I want, I have just recently tried it at the gym. I was on the elliptical and I was only 5 minutes in... I closed my eyes, and the movie that was playing.. I think it was 50 First Dates.. faded.. the machine whir slowed and I was alone.

I was running through fields, dangerously fast, running jumping. Never tiring, Never slowing, Finding lost things, basically running through the landscape of my mind. Imagining this maze that is ever growing,

I open my eyes and the sweat stings them, the number on the machine says 60 minutes. I'm not tired, but I step off and i'm still running, not sure if its in my head but its hard to walk slow.

I feel great, I open the door and leave the darkened room and journey to the machines, wishing and craving the feeling of slipping away, creating Mundane into Magnificent.


The mind is a very powerful thing,

Try changing your world, open secret passageways in the office when your watching the clock tick away.

Turn your shopping cart into a Mario Kart speedway, and surf through the store.

Some people say that dwelling in your imagination is an unheathly place, because your never apart of the normal world..

But I see it as making life more exciting, dealing with what you've been given and making the best of it.

Me and J.P. are doing great.

I am done messing around with other guys, as hard as it might be.. He Loves me.. I owe it to him to give him my all.

Close your eyes, find your Escape and leave the boring behind.. ...DO IT!

:)

Life Is

I've been thinking the past couple of days,


Life is messy


Life is sucky

Life is unfair at times

Life is unnoticed by the people who need to see it,

Life is hard for some

Life is easy for others

But i've realized that life, all that we do, is an adventure.

Life sucks, Life is Messy.. SO WHAT!

Life is short

Life is beautiful

Life is Messy.. Crazy, wonderful, silly, magical and breathtaking.

Life is okay.

No matter who we fall in and out in love with,

whether we grow old with someone or die alone,

Its not about the happy ending people, its about the story. Taking chances, making steps to change the mundane into magical.

Every choice we make starts a reaction,

just live life, make friends

Fall in and out of Love

Enjoy every second

-nick

At A Loss

Lately its like the world wants too much of my attention,


Where is the balance? Ending things with J.P. was hard, but it made me realize that I need to get out and date,

but why does it hurt so much.

The new guy i've been going on dates with has grown super attached, I don't really know what to do.

I can't help but wonder if I was the clingy, needy one with J.P. I certainly bring him up every spare moment on here.. I don't mean to keep dwelling on it, but it's hard to sever that connection we had, it was messy, it was hard, but it was kinda beautiful..

I feel like i'm stuck in the cement, I can't move.

I tried things with another guy but it just happened too fast, the things he is saying.. he fell for me very fast and the more he mentions it, or tells me I shouldn't see anyone else.. it makes him so less attractive to me.

He is lonely, hes broken. Like me.
But two broken people don't fix eachother, they pieces don't just mesh and repair themselves.

    I'm trying to fix myself and it doesn't help that all the jagged pieces of him are shredding at me,

I sound selfish, I finally find someone who's into me 100 percent, but then I realize he doesn't know me.

All these guys they fall for me, not sounding cocky or arrogant.. but they fall for me, then they really get to know me and they lose interest.

Sometimes I can be crazy

Sometimes I can be needy

Sometimes I can so busy you never see me

Sometimes I am so free its insane but they can never hang out.

When will the timing be right..

Despite how much I say i'm lonely.. I don't need a relationship right now..

I'm going to the gym, i'm going to get in shape.

Meanwhile I am just going to take things slow..

I still want J.P. though I should just move on, but there is that thing in the back of my mind wondering if he was the one.. it sounds stupid because.. I am young. There is plenty of time to meet my guy.

I need to sit Nel down to and explain things to him like I have, that I simply can't deal with someone needing attention all the time,

I need to talk to J.P. I am not sure whether to tell him I still have feelings for him, or just stay friends and not tell him that I still dream about him
think about him
crave him

want him..

We've been texting,

Funny things, playful banter,

I've missed it.

Not sure what to do..

My head hurts..

I guess I will just see how things go, date when I can...

I crave to be weightless, to wake up and not worry.. not hurt..

"Every we choice were making, every road we take every interaction starts a chain reaction, Were both effected when we least expect it when.. We Dance.. When we laugh, when we TOUCH" -Natasha Bedingfield

I'm headed to bed,

anyone out there...?

*taps on the screen*

ah well

-nick