My life in the past couple of weeks has been in a word.... uneventful.
The guy i've been seeing has been sorta busy, I miss him like crazy! In a week or so i'll be able to see him, i've been busy with work and its hard to find time to plan something with him. I hope it lets up soon because I am craving him, everything about him, his lips, his touch, his voice, his laugh. His giant sweeping eyelashes, his big brown eyes, it takes my breath away thinking about him.
On my old blog everytime I would talk about a guy on here it would quickly turn sour, so i'm not going into much detail. Wouldn't want to jinx it. Its safe to say that i'm falling in love with him, and its nice to feel that way.
The past couple months have been HELL due to one crazy guy in perticular, I don't even want to spend time talking about him. He is crazy, and not well and I dont want to waste energy on him, hes not worth it. I just wish he was out of my life for good, knowing that as long as my roomate Kyle is living here, the connection is there, weak but still there..
I've been missing my old friends lately, My old roomie who moved out.. My friend that moved to Logan, Cedar and other places around the world that prevents me from seeing them every day....
______________________________________________________________________
Alright to be honest I left yesterday and lost the train of thought for that blog, but i'm going to do my best to finish..
Cravings.. I want and need to see him again, every time I think about him I realize how special he is to me. We were talking on the phone and he said it was so hard to be away, not being able to see me.. This sounds selfish, but i really hope he hasnt met anyone else.
I just find it so frustrating, our situation. He doesn't want to be official and I get that, I know i'm not 100 percent what he wants, but he makes me so happy. I know I should just take it one day at a time, its just hard to not fall deeper in Love with him.. He is Perfect... I miss him
pointless blog post.. I think so
-Nick
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
It's About TIME
What is Time?
How come the times when we want something to end, like a bad birthday party or a visit from an Aunt. Time seems to stretch, you check the clock and the second hand slows to a stop. That every single moment your wanting it to end , the clock ticks sluggishly away, torturting you.
Then there are the times you want to to last, to freeze or stop. Times when you with someone you love or when you finally achieve something you tried for years.
How does time decide what to keep?
Some people live a hundred years, I read about an old man who went Skydiving on his 100th!
Then there are the people time takes early, a father, mother, sister, brother or friend.
Time it seems has been on my mind constantly,
Time for bills
Time for Work
No time to hang out with friends
No time seeing the guy i'm dating
No time it seems to sign up for school
Some people aren't worried about time, they are or in school or dont care about it. They show up late for work, some are even early start their shift.
Time is so different with some people.
So I've been dating this guy for nearly a month now, (well techinically longer because we met a while back online but recently the relationship has progressed.)
This may be too personal to blog about...But saying that doesn't really matter I guess, because I need to get it out of my head.
So me and this guy have been going on dates, having fun. He drives down to see me, I go up and see him. We laugh, we play, we read, walk, flirt, watch movies, eat, read more. But then there is always a TIME when one of us has to leave.
Work in the morning
Busy with school
not enough time.
He told me he Loved me, which I was thrilled about because you know what.. I Love him too, He is everything I wanted in a man and it took meeting him to figure EXACTLY what that was. If there was ever a dream guy.. it'd be him.. hands down.
I shouldn't even be mentioning him because I swear im cursed, I finally talk about a guy I like on here and then things go sour. Things are different with him though, I can feel it.. if that makes sense. I can tell that he isn't some mistake that I am going to add to the list. He cares about me, he gets my jokes, laughs at me when my jokes aren't funny. Tells me i'm gorgeous when i'm feeling down about myself. Oh and he honestly loves every single thing about me that I want to change, inside and out. I feel safe when I'm with him, though at times I can be a bit quiet.. he is just so intelligent and I feel like sometimes I can't reach him because he is on this different level.
I Love talking to him, About him,
I Love the way he looks at me, watching me, watching him.
He is always picking my brain which I love because most my deep thoughts are internal, though most of you get to see them neatly...(or uneatly) Sprawled across the page as the letters are leaving my mind.
Some days he texts, calls and sends pictures all day. Letting me know that he's thinking about me,
then some days I go 2 days without hearing from him.
He says we aren't offcial, that he and I get to date other guys. He doesn't want to be boyfriends right now, which I'm okay with.
I do get jealous from time to time when I think he is with other guys, but it is something I will have to get over, knowing that I over think EVERYTHING anyway...
I haven't wanted to Be with anyone since the day he told me he loved me, I just turn the guys down because I really want him and him only. I do slip up from time to time, at parties kissing guys because they are there...which sounds terrible but...ah well right?
I just miss him.
He might be getting a job down in Vegas for the summer, maybe longer. The trips a bit further then now, I'm wondering if my car could last driving there and back so frequently. If it breaks down... i'm done for, He says he is almost done living here, done with school . ready to be off at Grad school.. .
What happens then? If we aren't offcial.. does our Dating Fling go to ruin, knowing he will no doubt meet someone the first month in Grad School.
Or is time to fragile to look ahead that far?
I have recently found a love for time-travel, mostly The Hourglass Door Series (by Lisa Mangum)
They are basically Twilight but instead of Vampires they are Time Travelers.
Knowing the future is risky and pesky because its always changing, One thing you do now could vastly effect the future.
My friend Lena at work was telling me about a book that crushing a mere butterfly set a chain of events forward in time to do some major damage, so that is my question.
Do I just enjoy every second I have with my guy, knowing he loves me, wants me.
Knowing too far ahead in the future could drvie you crazy becaues your either stuck waiting for it to happen or you know what is going to happen and you try and change it.
I think I will just try seeing thing one day at a time, treasure to moments I get to spend with him once a week,
and hope that the future is kind enough to let me have him just a little longer.
Well time for bed....
Night.
-nick
How come the times when we want something to end, like a bad birthday party or a visit from an Aunt. Time seems to stretch, you check the clock and the second hand slows to a stop. That every single moment your wanting it to end , the clock ticks sluggishly away, torturting you.
Then there are the times you want to to last, to freeze or stop. Times when you with someone you love or when you finally achieve something you tried for years.
How does time decide what to keep?
Some people live a hundred years, I read about an old man who went Skydiving on his 100th!
Then there are the people time takes early, a father, mother, sister, brother or friend.
Time it seems has been on my mind constantly,
Time for bills
Time for Work
No time to hang out with friends
No time seeing the guy i'm dating
No time it seems to sign up for school
Some people aren't worried about time, they are or in school or dont care about it. They show up late for work, some are even early start their shift.
Time is so different with some people.
So I've been dating this guy for nearly a month now, (well techinically longer because we met a while back online but recently the relationship has progressed.)
This may be too personal to blog about...But saying that doesn't really matter I guess, because I need to get it out of my head.
So me and this guy have been going on dates, having fun. He drives down to see me, I go up and see him. We laugh, we play, we read, walk, flirt, watch movies, eat, read more. But then there is always a TIME when one of us has to leave.
Work in the morning
Busy with school
not enough time.
He told me he Loved me, which I was thrilled about because you know what.. I Love him too, He is everything I wanted in a man and it took meeting him to figure EXACTLY what that was. If there was ever a dream guy.. it'd be him.. hands down.
I shouldn't even be mentioning him because I swear im cursed, I finally talk about a guy I like on here and then things go sour. Things are different with him though, I can feel it.. if that makes sense. I can tell that he isn't some mistake that I am going to add to the list. He cares about me, he gets my jokes, laughs at me when my jokes aren't funny. Tells me i'm gorgeous when i'm feeling down about myself. Oh and he honestly loves every single thing about me that I want to change, inside and out. I feel safe when I'm with him, though at times I can be a bit quiet.. he is just so intelligent and I feel like sometimes I can't reach him because he is on this different level.
I Love talking to him, About him,
I Love the way he looks at me, watching me, watching him.
He is always picking my brain which I love because most my deep thoughts are internal, though most of you get to see them neatly...(or uneatly) Sprawled across the page as the letters are leaving my mind.
Some days he texts, calls and sends pictures all day. Letting me know that he's thinking about me,
then some days I go 2 days without hearing from him.
He says we aren't offcial, that he and I get to date other guys. He doesn't want to be boyfriends right now, which I'm okay with.
I do get jealous from time to time when I think he is with other guys, but it is something I will have to get over, knowing that I over think EVERYTHING anyway...
I haven't wanted to Be with anyone since the day he told me he loved me, I just turn the guys down because I really want him and him only. I do slip up from time to time, at parties kissing guys because they are there...which sounds terrible but...ah well right?
I just miss him.
He might be getting a job down in Vegas for the summer, maybe longer. The trips a bit further then now, I'm wondering if my car could last driving there and back so frequently. If it breaks down... i'm done for, He says he is almost done living here, done with school . ready to be off at Grad school.. .
What happens then? If we aren't offcial.. does our Dating Fling go to ruin, knowing he will no doubt meet someone the first month in Grad School.
Or is time to fragile to look ahead that far?
I have recently found a love for time-travel, mostly The Hourglass Door Series (by Lisa Mangum)
They are basically Twilight but instead of Vampires they are Time Travelers.
Knowing the future is risky and pesky because its always changing, One thing you do now could vastly effect the future.
My friend Lena at work was telling me about a book that crushing a mere butterfly set a chain of events forward in time to do some major damage, so that is my question.
Do I just enjoy every second I have with my guy, knowing he loves me, wants me.
Knowing too far ahead in the future could drvie you crazy becaues your either stuck waiting for it to happen or you know what is going to happen and you try and change it.
I think I will just try seeing thing one day at a time, treasure to moments I get to spend with him once a week,
and hope that the future is kind enough to let me have him just a little longer.
Well time for bed....
Night.
-nick
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